I was going through my winter clothes to put them away, and I realized, that my collection of gloves is a representation of me and many of the parental figures in my life. Every pair of gloves I own, except for 2 pairs I bought for myself, was given to me by one of my parental figures. And, each pair represents some significant, and sometimes funny information relevant to our relationship. There are only 3 significant mother figures I have that are not represented here. I have other articles of clothing from them.

So no, read on as I Sherlock Holmes (by which I mean over-analyze to reach conclusions) my own gloves.

Gloves from Me

First I would like to describe the gloves I got for myself, so you can get a sense of who I am in context to my parental figures. The gloves I bought for myself were the cheapest ones I could conveniently find to buy for myself. Which describes how I do a lot of my shopping. They are simple, nondescript, serviceable, and modestly elegant, if a little shoddy. It is difficult to discern if they are modestly elegant, cheap, or utilitarian.  Regardless, these gloves are great descriptors of someone in the modern age appreciates Bauhouse design. And when you notice that both pairs that I bought for myself give me the ability to use my touch screen phone without having to take the gloves off, you may have to add ‘millennial’ to the balance beam of descriptors. Draw whatever conclusions you can about me from that.

Parental Figure Gloves

I will start from the top left and go clockwise. The top row represents my mother figures, the bottom row represents my father figures.

Gloves from my Mother

The Christmas my mother gave me these, was the Chirstmas I asked for fingerless gloves. The gloves from my mother are very similar to mine in that they are simple and utilitarian, as well as the most elegant, and serviceable pair of gloves that fit the criteria that I asked for that could be conveniently found. They are exactly what I asked for and what I wanted. And they are perfect. Also, they look like something an aspiring hippy would wear, which my mom knows I am, despite my protestations against such claims.

Gloves from my Boyfriend’s Mother

The Christmas I received these gloves, my boyfriend and I had been together 3 Christmases. This was the 3rd Chirstmas my boyfriend’s mother had spent knowing me, so by then she knew me decently well, and we had become pretty good friends. My boyfriend’s mother gave me these gloves ‘Hand Knit in Nepal’ along with an accompanying hat. She had seen the types of clothes I wear and knew I would love the design and colors of the gloves. She also knew I would appreciate the fact that they were hand knit in Nepal. They are also very warm, so they actually keep your hands extremely warm, thus being extremely utilitarian.

Gloves from my Father’s Girlfriend

These were another pair of gloves I received the Christmas I asked for fingerless gloves. My father and his girlfriend have been together for several years. The gloves from my father’s girlfriend are ones she knit herself. Which shows she understands my appreciation for hand knit gloves. She also chose yarn consisting of my favorite colors. (She had to call to ask what they were, but the fact she would think to ask, shows how much she cares). They fit nicely, are warm, pretty, utilitarian, and not scratchy. This shows that she is a talented knitter. The fact that these are the gloves I have probably worn most often (even more often than the ones I bought for myself) shows how much I appreciate her craft.

Gloves from my Stepdad

My stepdad has been so for most of my life. He is a climber and a hiker, and we have been on many outdoor adventures together. Thus, these are my most outdoor-proof gloves. They are sleek simple black like the gloves I got myself. They are extremely utilitarian, and very good at what they do. Namely keeping my hands warm. These gloves have kept my hands amazingly warm through some seriously cold temperatures. The fact that my stepdad bought me these means he recognizes my love of the outdoors, and supports that love. He wants to get me things that will keep me warm and safe while I am on my own adventures.

Gloves from my Father

Despite outwards appearances, my father and I are amazingly similar. We both value convenience very highly. We both value utilitarian qualities, as well as the importance of being thrifty. The one thing we may differ in slightly, is the importance of a touch of elegance. I think it is important. My father thinks that these gloves served him and his father well, and that despite their lack of elegance they will surely serve me well too. These things are old and falling apart. They definitely keep one’s hands warm which is technically the only thing a pair of gloves is required to do. But like my dad, they are some of the most reliable gloves I have. I use these gloves every year when I make a snow man. They are the only gloves I am not afraid to accidentally get dog poop on when it gets stuck in the snow. And everyone needs gloves like that, gloves that will always be there to protect you from shit.