Haunted

I noticed my haunting as the first snow of winter fell. At first, the visits only came at night as I drove home from work. How many times did I drive by her before I noticed?She appeared on the side of the road at the same curve every time, standing in the darkness behind the mile markers. My headlights illuminated the edges of the road, and she appeared in the corner of my eye, but I always passed before I thought to look.

She’s always in the corner of my eye, a dark rectangle. Even when I saw her in the day, she stayed on the edge of things. I never looked at her, though she gave me increasing opportunity.

When once she startled me, I now anticipated her a the turn of the road. Still, I still never looked. I knew she wouldn’t tolerate my gaze. Like dew burned away at the sun’s first light, too much attention would melt her away.

I thought I should be frightened. A haunting, after all. Just look at her, she’d fade away -begone evil spirit- and I’d be safe. No. Danger or not, I felt no intention of harm. I didn’t look. I let her stay.

I think she was lonely. Or bored. She needed someone to ignore her. It cannot be done alone. I noticed but paid her no mind. I think she liked that. That’s why she kept coming back. My need to understand may someday overcome my respect for her mystery. I don’t know what will happen that day. Maybe I let her come too close, and if I look now, she’ll devour me. Or maybe she’ll fade away into nothing. I’ll realize she was never there. She was the shadow of my headlights on the mile markers. I’ve never looked. I keep the mystery alive. I prefer to let her be than to know.