Fair warning, this post contains spoilers about the Star Wars franchise.
I didn’t grow up on Star Wars. I’m a Star Trek person. I reached my 30s without seeing the original Star Wars trilogy. I’ve gleaned a lot from pop culture, memes, etc, and major moments in the franchise are spoiled for me with minimal context of how they fit into the overall story arc.
Recently, I finished watching The Mandalorian with my husband and sister-in-law. I loved the series, so they decided I must watch the original trilogy. Since this seems to be a relatively rare perspective, I will document my Star Wars journey. This first post is context for where I started on this quest.
How I Finally Became a Fan
The prequels were my first exposure to Star Wars, which everyone seems to agree are terrible. I loved the N64 Pod Racing game and Gungan Frontier as a child. In college, I read a delightful comic called Darths and Droids.
At the time of writing this post, I’ve seen the first of the newest trilogy. It failed to capture me. I have no interest in seeing the other two. I’ve also steered clear of Solo. Rogue One was the first Star Wars movie that got through to me. The Mandalorian is obviously a labor of love. It’s a striking and wonderful homage to an enamoring fantasy world. That love finally made me a fan.
Prior Knowledge
After finishing The Mandalorian, I tried to place where its events fit in the overall timeline of the Star Wars universe. In so doing, I told my husband and sister-in-law everything I knew about the Star Wars movies I hadn’t seen. Below is a synopsis of that knowledge.
There’s this Empire. They’re bad because they take over planets, and everyone under their rule seems sad and gets killed. Then there’s the Federation? I think? They’re good. And the Rebels. The Rebels and the Federation might be the same thing. There are Jedi space wizards with lightsabers. I thought you could only use a lightsaber if you were a Jedi, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. The Jedi are allied with the Federation. Mostly. Unless they go to the dark side. Then, they are allied with the Empire.
Some Jedi go to a desert planet to find Anakin Skywalker who’s strong with the force, and makes a robot. I think the planet is Tatooine? Anakin is a slave or something to a blue anteater alien, so they can’t take him away. They bet his freedom on a Pod race. They use Jedi mind powers to cheat. Or they don’t? No, they tried but the blue alien is immune. Something like that. Anyway, Pod Racers was a great N64 game. They take Anakin away but can’t train him because of his angst. They decide to do it anyway. Then, uh, Jarjar? Something. Gungans? I think they get eaten by a big fish? They go to do… politics. There’s something about Padme being Anakin’s sister, but he doesn’t know that, so there’s incest stuff. He complains about sand. Darth Maul… exists. He’s a bad Jedi. Clone wars happen? It took me a while to realize that the wars are fought by clones. I thought the wars were over the ethics of cloning, or that “clone” was a colorful derogatory euphemism, or these wars were clones of other wars. Anyway, there were a lot of stormtroopers, but they can’t shoot for shit. That’s a running joke. There are rolly-polly brown droids and… AT-ATs? The tall things with legs. The Jedi…wiiin? Maybe? Uh. Probably not, actually. Wait, no, it’s the Federation? Whatever. Anakin grows up and turns into a jerk due to his angsty mitoclorians, and kills a bunch of kids. He falls in lava, and becomes Darth Vader. Somewhere in there, he has a son named Luke.
At this point, the Empire is run by Darth Vader. Vader is mean and kills his subordinates for doing their jobs. The Jedi have to go save Leia. They get trapped in a trashcan, but then they escape, and they’re rescued by space pirates, Han Solo and Chewbacca on the Millenium Falcon. Except, somehow, they didn’t know Leia was a princess? I feel like that was a reveal, but I don’t understand why they go to save her if they didn’t already know that. Then she’s like, “I’m a princess,” so they go do politics. They go to the planet Endor or something? There’s fuzzy Ewoks. Yoda is hanging out there. He’s smart. Then, because of the politics, they have to blow up the Death Star, which is a planet-destroying weapon. They join up with the rebels. They’re in the Death Star, and Luke and Darth Vader duke it out. There’s the famous moment: “Luke I am your father, Noooooo.” Then they get out of the Death Star. They get in spaceships and Luke does powers and hits the Death Star in its vulnerable bits. It explodes and everyone’s happy. At some point in there, Leia is Jabba’s slave. Someone has to live inside a horse to not die of cold. There’s Babba Fett, but I don’t know who that is, except that he’s the Mandalorian Fett’s father. General Akbar is an alien character that exists, but I don’t know his significance. R2D2 and that golden droid do stuff, but who cares. Someone gets frozen in carbonite.
In the new trilogy, uh, there’s a Jedi chick. She…fights… people? And then emo Darth dude? They thwart him? He turns good, maybe? Droids are round now. The end.
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